Tasting new mornings

What are you really afraid of ?

2011-04-12T11:58:00.003+08:00

You're not afraid of the dark

You're just afraid of what's in it

You're not afraid of heights

You're just afraid of the pain of falling

You're not afraid of dying

You're just afraid of where you're going

You're not afraid of people around you

You're just afraid of rejection

You're not afraid of love

You're just afraid of not being loved back

You're not afraid of trying something new

You're just afraid of failure

Letters to Juliet

2011-03-29T18:24:00.006+08:00

Dear Claire,

"What" and "If" are two words as non-threatening as words can be. But put them together side-by-side and they have the power to haunt you for the rest of your life:

What if? What if? What if?

I don't know how your story ended but if what you felt then was true love, then it's never too late. If it was true then, why wouldn't it be true now? You need only the courage to follow your heart.

I don't know what a love like Juliet's feels like - love to leave loved ones for, love to cross oceans for but I'd like to believe if I ever were to feel it, that I will have the courage to seize it. And, Claire, if you didn't, I hope one day that you will.

All my love,
Juliet

- Letters to Juliet

I just sat there and enjoyed every moment as I watch another happy ending.

I'm not a skeptic of love, I embrace it.

It's not because I've never felt heartbroken or gone through loneliness. I know love to be a beautiful thing because it helped me overcame that brokenness and all the pain I felt.

I will not let myself give up on love because love never fails. And if there was one person who made me see this, it would be God Himself.

He made me see that it is a blessing to love people above all other things, to even give your life for them.

Yes, He goes through the heartaches that we go through today. He feels pain but probably a million times more. We'd never think that He could feel this but He can because after all, we are a part of who He is.

Yet when we reject Him,

Did He walk away? Did He ever leave us?

No.

He still loves us and He will continue to risk everyday loving us unconditionally until we come back to Him and even if we don't.

You know, when I saw what He did for me. I told myself, I want to love people like that.

Redeemed

2011-02-15T01:11:00.004+08:00

This is what I learn today and will forever remember.

That saying sorry is not easy.

But it is worth it because it sets you and I free.

The tears come but dry up soon.

The heart hurts no more.

The past is past.

and you and I can move on.

Loved by You

2011-02-05T00:23:00.003+08:00

"I was made to be loved by You"

No one loves me more than You do. Truth is, no words can describe your wonderful love which captures my heart over and over again.

Look Up

2011-01-27T00:21:00.002+08:00

You look up when you need hope,

You look up when you see something breathtaking,

You look up when you're finish wiping those tears,

You look up when you want to see the stars,

You look up when you want to talk to God,

You look up when the sun rises,

You look up to those you love and respect,

You look up so you can look ahead and not bump into things,

You look up when you want to look at your beautiful self in the mirror,

You look up cause you're not giving up just yet,

You look up cause you're done being down,

Something good happens when we look up :)

Perfect

2010-12-14T01:45:00.003+08:00

Billie Frechette: What do you want?

Johhny Dillinger: Everything. Right now.

- Public Enemies

Be kind enough

2010-12-02T23:11:00.008+08:00

I am having this horrible sore throat. I'm running out of ideas to soothe the pain. I'm screaming inside and I do not feel like speaking a single word or swallowing my saliva anymore. It hurts so much. Honey helps a lot. It's sweet and it works like magic. I wish I can just take spoons and more spoons of honey. But each spoon is not cheap. So I have to rely on lime, salt and warm water. Hopefully the sore will go away soon.

Getting sick is not fun. I'm trying to sleep EARLY. But my piles of homework is pulling at my hands and feet. What is wrong with my schedule? And Christmas is like.....23 ( REPEAT, TWENTY-THREE) days away. I'm still working so hard :( LOL. I'm just thinking about my well-deserved break! This has got to be my most whiniest post. I am mostly a very whiny person. But I never like to write rambling posts.

So, moving on.

I have a question for you, if you're reading this. It was on my mind this afternoon.

Have you ever been kind or daring enough to tell your friend if he/she has

1. Something gross stuck up their nose? or

2. Chocolate cream around the mouth? or

3. Vegetable stuck between the teeth? or

4. Exposed their butt crack? :O

5. Forgot to zip their pants?

I mean it happens and it's really embarrassing but we just ignore them. We can't look at them in the eyes and tell them, "Hey, you need to clean up!", or "Erm, you're giving a free show la, pull up your pants please." Which I admit for laughing at such people before and walking away instead.

But what if it was YOU in that embarrassing position?

I get my mouth dirty all the time but I don't realize it until I looked at myself in the mirror and discover the horror. I even think about how many hundreds of people have been snickering behind my back because I have cream on my face, and nobody was kind enough to tell me. They had to let the mirror do the last minute clean up job for me.

Which got me thinking... I think I won't mind embarrassing myself in front of just one person who noticed something unsightly and told me about it. I rather you tell me and not think twice about 'me' feeling uncomfortable. In fact, I would thank you and appreciate you for being kind enough.

You would want people do that nice little gesture for you too, don't ya?

Light Up The Sky

2010-11-21T00:01:00.002+08:00

When I'm feeling all alone
With so far to go
The signs that know we're on this road
Are guiding me home
When the night is closing in
Is falling on my skin
Oh God, will you come close

You light, light, light up the sky
You light up the sky to show me that you are with me
And I, I, I can't deny
No I can't deny that you and right here with me
You've opened my eyes
So I can see you all around me
You light, light, light up the sky
You light up the sky to show me that you are with me

When stars are hiding in the clouds
I don't feel them shining
When I can't see beyond my doubt
The silver lining
When I've almost reached the end
Like a flood you're rushing in
Your love is rushing in (your love is rushing in)

You had me at hello

2010-11-19T19:37:00.004+08:00

I finally realized how much I enjoy being in the presence of someone new, someone strange yet so attractive. Strangers may not be so likable at first sight, but we should take more time to know someone more than just his or her name. To see what's beneath and in the heart. It is a wonderful thing. To have a connection with another person's life.

You know how we all like to say, "It's nice to meet you" or "It's a pleasure to meet you." And it really is. For me.

You're here to stay while I let go of everything else

2010-11-15T13:26:00.004+08:00

The heart is heavy now. Pulling and ripping everything down. Revealing my wounded soul and brokenness. Struggling to hold it all together. I'm finally letting go, once more.

Thanks Lyn, for this song. I feel much, much better.

I used to try and walk alone
But I've begun to grow
And when you tell me just to rest
I'm finally letting go
I let go

And I'm here to stay
Nothing can separate us
And I know, I'm ok
You cradle me gently
Wrapped in your arms.... I'm home

All this time

2010-11-12T02:18:00.004+08:00

Take all the time lost

All the days that I cost

Take what I took

and give it back to you

We don't have much time, but we have now. We gotta grab every moment, grab every chance we have to do the things we ought to do. Maybe it's to tell someone 'I'm sorry', tell the person you love how you really feel, or rush to the airport to say goodbye.

You may not have a tomorrow, but you still have now to make things right again.

We got all these words

Can't waste them on another

So I'm straight in a straight line

Running back to you

With all of my heart...

2010-11-02T23:01:00.003+08:00

I want to thank God for the things I don't usually remember to thank God for but these things are so important and so priceless. I'm grateful to be reminded of His goodness, love and everlasting grace.

Thank God for

New mornings everyday
Sunlight and rain
My whole body, that's healthy and complete
Home
Everlasting life
Second chances, third chances, fourth chances and more
Wisdom
Education and a brain to learn
Forgiveness
My ability to drive a car without crashing
Technology
Mom and Dad, for who am I without them
Brothers and sisters
Safety and protection wherever I go
Good people
MUSIC :)
Rest
Beauty
Heroes, you are one if you're helpful and kind.
Trials, to make me a better, stronger person
LOVE
Mothers, and okay, fathers too. (LET'S BE GRATEFUL FOR THESE PEOPLE EVERYDAY)
God, yes, You. You are the most important and the most priceless. Without You, there would be none of the above. There would not be this.

Today

2010-11-01T15:11:00.004+08:00

Today
I'm leaving all my troubles behind
I'm letting go I'll follow the line
Holding on with all of my life

I see Your rising Son
We've only just begun

Today
I'm walking to the beat of Your heart
You take me all the way to the start
Stretch Your hand straighten the path
I'm found in open skies
Your heart it lives in mine

Today
I'm finding my first love again
I'm learning how to let You in
Trusting You with all that I am
The shadows fade away
Its You that clears the day

No more running wild
I'm Yours for life
You got me here
You got me
I hear Your call tonight
Your heart is mine
You got me here
You got me

You drew me out of the deepest sea woah
You gave my soul a song to sing woah
You took me up on the mountains high woah
I see my life in a different light woah

To be true

2010-11-01T11:56:00.005+08:00

I'm not looking for someone to just make me feel good about myself all the time. I'm ready to see the good and bad in me. I'm wanting to see what I can change and grow.

I don't need another person who's afraid to hurt my feelings for my own good. I need someone who is truthful and honest. You're not here to put me down, you're neither here to make me feel perfect, you're here to challenge me to be awesome.

You're not here to be better than me, friendship ain't a competition.

I don't want another friend to "be here" because it's convenient. I won't need another person who's too good to be true.

I need someone who will listen and try to understand me.

I want to be that kind of someone, that real person to you, a true friend, if you let me.

Just letting you go

2010-10-31T23:42:00.004+08:00

You did not walk out of my life. We did not have a huge disagreement. But you're not here like you used to be anymore because someone else needs you more now.

I'm learning to let go of people who are not meant to stay in my life forever. Sure, I've probably known you for years and built a very close relationship with you, but maybe it's time for us to move on and meet new people and be apart of their lives now.

It's so hard to let go of you. I want to be selfish sometimes, and keep you right beside me because I can tell you anything and everything.

I'm not cutting ties here. We're still going to be friends. We're still going to have a chat someday at a coffee shop and laugh about good times. But you're not going to be there when I need you the most.

But I still thank you for the friendship we've made. It was good meeting you.

And it's time to say goodbye.

WANT!

2010-10-19T23:29:00.004+08:00

I'll drive you around and keep you shiny. You will give me toned legs and a happy heart.

:)

Have a new day

2010-10-05T21:16:00.008+08:00

How can every day be the same?

How can we call our lives boring, sleepy and unexciting sometimes?

We complain so much but never try to make something good happen.

Oh, I hope we would all learn to jump out of our old skins. Shed it already. It's wrinkly. Grow a new one.

Let's be brave and super. Let's be kind. Let's be awesome.

What shall we do to make life more colorful?

Talk to the person beside you, bite into some food you've never tasted before, speak our ideas, love the unloved, pick up that piece of rubbish on the floor instead of walking over it, complain less, listen more, get out and breathe some fresh air, give 'me' a break, stop being lazy, be daring but not stupid, learn to cook, stop saying "Life is boring" "I want to die" "Today is the worst day ever." Walk the second mile for anyone. Sing a different song. Dance in the rain. Stop being rude, start being nice.

Now tell me, how's life?

MengenalMu

2010-09-27T16:44:00.005+08:00

Bila ku buka mataku
dan melihat wajah-Mu
Ku terkagum

Bila ku lihat hidupku
dan karya tangan-Mu
Ku tersanjung

Kar'na semua yang baik
dalam hidupku
Itulah karya-Mu
Kau beri kesempatan yang baru

Dan ku ingin megenal-Mu Tuhan
Lebih dalam dari semua yang ku kenal
Tiada kasih yang melebihi-Mu
Ku ada untuk menjadi penyembah-Mu

Good game

2010-09-21T19:18:00.007+08:00

New thing today : FRISBEE! :D Absolutely fun to play and sweat-it-out game.

I was so lazy to go walking in the park though I promised myself I would regularly exercised. After walking for 2 rounds in my slippers (just to accompany mom & dad), I didn't want to walk anymore.

So my dad took out the frisbee and we started to fling the plastic disc in the air. We weren't professionals to begin with and I've never played that game before. So I had to try a lot of times before the disc started to make beautiful, smooth turns and swings. It had a lot to do with the way I swing my arm and how much strength used.

After awhile, I made a bet with dad! haha. If one of us win by earning 20 points each time we catch the disc, we would buy the person who wins whatever they would like to eat.

All the screaming I did each time I missed catching hold of the disc made dad the winner! haha.
He won 20-16.

He asked for McD's vanilla ice-cream.

I am not a sore loser so I am going to get Dad's deserved prize ice-cream.

I love that feeling

2010-09-18T23:19:00.003+08:00

Well,” said Pooh, “what I like best,” and then he had to stop and think. Because although Eating Honey was a very good thing to do, there was a moment just before you began to eat it which was better than when you were, but he didn’t know what it was called.
— Winnie-the-Pooh by A.A. Milne

Oh so true! I think it's the feeling of anticipation. The smell of anticipation. You're waiting for that moment and it's coming soon. Nothing can stop you. Your heart is racing, your skin is tingling. You're thinking of how to make this moment last forever. Oh, how long you've waited patiently and now you just want to enjoy it.

Sweet eyes

2010-09-18T22:38:00.001+08:00

She is irreplaceable.
I'll say it again.

Risking Much

2010-09-18T14:08:00.002+08:00

To laugh is to risk appearing a fool.
To weep is to risk appearing sentimental.
To reach out for another is to risk involvement.
To expose feelings is to risk exposing our true self.
To place your ideas, your dreams, before the crowd is to risk loss.
To love is to risk not being loved in return.
To live is to risk dying.
To hope is to risk despair.
To try at all is to risk despair.
To try at all is to risk failure.
But risk we must, because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.
The man, the woman, who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing, is nothing.

- James S. Hewett

Longings

2010-09-17T22:41:00.004+08:00

I miss mom and dad! Hope you two are having a good time sharing your lives with people.

I miss Lynette Natasha! Woman, we need to talk :) and laugh :) and do something crazy.

I miss holding my packet of red blood. It was so precious and it will be to someone one day.

I miss the beach and the waves washing my toes.

I miss sleeping while it's raining outside heavily.

I miss seeing beautiful sunsets in pinks, yellows, reds and purple.

I miss high school. Being such a nerd. Being so innocent and then so naughty. Running for Sport's Day. Following some really lame school rules- No liquid paper, no more than 3 key chains, no sharp scissors (does that make sense at all?). Wearing baju kurung during assembly to avoid wearing the ugly tie. Washing dirty school shoes every weekend. Copying homework (HAHA)

What I Did On Malaysia Day

2010-09-16T22:59:00.006+08:00

What an exciting morning, day and night!

Happy Malaysia Day everyone! *sings national anthem*

MORNING:

Some of you woke up at 5am and joined Change Your World to clean up SS13 with YB Hannah Yeoh, some of you went to WorshipGOD 2010 ENCOUNTER EXPERIENCE CELEBRATE conference at DUMC, some went to Indonesia for missions, some people slept in bed happily , some people went back to work ( I HOPE NOT!) and I went to Kajang to join Hari Komuniti organized by Kajang AOG church :D

Oh it was fun! I had 11 coupons to spend on so much food and games, but I ended up using 4 or 5 only and gave the rest away to one kind hungry soul named Joel Dass. Thanks man!

I also did something I've never did before but have always wanted to do all these while.

I FOUND OUT MY BLOOD TYPE AND DONATED MY BLOOD!

Hurrah! I am a universal donor.

If you're asking "Pain or not?"

I say, "No pain la" :) I'm not afraid of needles and you don't have to be. Donate your blood if you're healthy, ~~handsome~~, ~~pretty~~, 18 and above and save 3 lives :)

DAY:

Some of you still continued to laze in bed ( I BET!) and I went to meet my dear friends at The Curve!

I tried bowling for the very first time. Hoho. I was so adamant before to learn because of my stupid pride ( honestly) but I decided to just fail and learn.

I love bowling already. You just have to concentrate on the middle arrow-HARD and please choose the right bowling ball, and also go with friends who will cheer you on eventhough your bowling ball seems to go into the 'longkang' everytime.

NIGHT:

Highlight: Sidney Mohede!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! from True Worshippers :) (he's so cute)

I attended WorshipGOD 2010 ENCOUNTER EXPERIENCE CELEBRATE conference at DUMC and we were worshipping God for whole two hours. We danced, we sang, we clapped, we shouted, we screamed, and most importantly, we worshipped.

Let me leave you listening to this beautiful song: Shine Like Stars

We will shine
Shine like stars above
Shining in your light
Guided by your love

Let your fire burn in us
Burning like the sun
As we glorify
And show your kingdom come
In all the Earth

Feed the Fishies!

2010-09-15T13:56:00.002+08:00

Be Still

2010-09-12T23:07:00.009+08:00

We started the Nooma films series by Rob Bell in my young adult's cell today. The series was entitled "Noise". Interesting much. Before we began, we switched off all the lights and all our handphones were placed aside. Everyone's eyes were glued and focus on the TV screen. No one spoke a word as we listened to this man talk.

The man talked about the noise in this world bombarding every second of our lives. So much noise, you barely noticed the crickets in daylight. There is the TV in the living room and bedroom, the radio in the car, the laptop on our lap, the handphone that is never beyond our grasp and the mp3 player in our pocket. What about visual noise? How many billboards did we just see today?

When did we become so afraid of silence?

Suddenly, the man stopped talking and the screen went pitched black. It was all so quiet. I was getting shifty in my seat. The awkward silence had us all feeling lost.

Suddenly, words began to pop on the screen. The words formed questions that knocked deeply into our hearts. It began to question us about the last time we turned off all noise (including the noises in our head), sat in silence and heard what God had to say. It made me think.

I can't remember all the questions but it made me ask myself even more important questions.

How am I going to listen to God's still small voice with all these noise?

When was the last time I stopped talking, and listened to Him?

Did I even give myself 5 minutes to be in complete solitude to let God speak?

Am I able to spend just as much time listening to all these noise as much as to sit in silence too?

1 Kings 19:9-13

And as Elijah stood there, the Lord passed by and a mighty windstorm hit the mountain, It was such a terrible blast that the rocks turned loose, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind, there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. And after the earthquake there was a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire, there was the sound of a gentle whisper.

God spoke to Elijah, in that moment of silence.

I find myself struggling all the time to pull myself away from all these noises. And even when I'm sitting on my bed praying to God, I honestly don't give Him enough time to hear what He longs to say because silence makes me sleepy and uncomfortable.

When will you and I be still, till the point that you can just hear yourself breathe and nothing else? No noise. No hurry. Just us listening intently for God to speak.

Tell The World

2010-09-10T18:49:00.004+08:00

We all have stories to tell. The things we go through, the pain and the joy.

And when God does a miracle, or when God does something good for us, don't keep quiet! Don't think it was nothing or that nobody will listen. Shout it out loud! Praise Him!

I am so blessed today because my friend, Neil told me his life story and how God changed Him, turned him around and used him. He used to be such a bad boy =p but WOW, God is so amazing. To Neil, he probably thought he was talking way too much about himself, but God was using his testimony to encourage me.

Especially we, second-generation Christians. I know what it's like to grow up in a Christian home your whole life. And you know, God just continues to pour His favor on us generously. So many times we take His blessings for granted and we say we have nothing to thank Him for because we never had a truly hard life.

And when you (including myself) want to share about the goodness of God to your friends , we are dumbfounded. But did you know that having His peace, His love and joy flowing in your heart everyday is a testimony. We are not afraid to die because we know where we're going. Whenever we need something or a way out, He's the one who answers our prayers.

Remember guys, no matter how big or small your story is, it will still bring encouragement to the people around you. You never know because God is the one who will touch their hearts. We just have to be willing to share :)

WAKE UP!

2010-09-10T10:20:00.005+08:00

Good Morning! to cloudy skies, cool air, happiness and one million smiles!

Selamat Hari Raya to my Muslim friends :)

Oh, I just can't stop grinning. It feels like the best morning ever when you wake up EARLY in the morning after having enough rest.

I need to wake up early more often.

Yesterday was just the total opposite. I woke up around 11.45 am with the sunlight burning my skin through my window. I had such oily pores too. It was dreadful. Totally ruined my whole day.

Here's to many more happy mornings!

Oh oh oh, listen to this song on Crystal's new blog : Night/Day and sip your tea, coffee, milk or orange juice, whatever is lovely for breakfast!

Dress Me Up

2010-09-08T17:30:00.006+08:00

It's been a lil while since I started the "What I Want To Wear Right Now" posts.
I just wanted to do something to tap into my passion for fashion! I figured I have to start somewhere if I want to chase my dream of becoming a fashion stylist.

I love to dress up and find different outfits to make my day. I want to dress simple but not boring, sexy but not whorish, different but not freaky! Looking good makes me feel good.
I have a motto : Dress to please yourself.

I dress more towards the casual side and because I live in a summer-all-year country, I find tank tops, over-sized/off-shoulder-tees, jeans, summer dresses and flip flops awesome!

I think Michael Jackson, Mary-Kate & Ashley, Agyness Deyn, Alexa Chung, Rachel Bilson & Gossip Girls (!) have very awesome style when they dress up! They "wow" me very often.

I know, I know I should use my own wardrobe clothes and paste them all over this blog but I'm still building it :) Meanwhile, I want to see how creative I can get by styling up in virtual style using Polyvore!

#3 What I Want To Wear Right Now

2010-09-07T15:43:00.004+08:00

On a trip to anywhere by andreakyl featuring a leather shoulder bag

Ruffle Tube Zip Romper Black, $59
Black Bow Front Platform Ankle Strap Wedge Sandal @ Amiclubwear Wedges..., $3.99
Large Linen Suitacase, 120 GBP
JJ Winters Studded Leather Circle Bag, $138
Medium Inlay Red Bangle, 8 GBP
Straw Fedora in Beige, $60
Gorgeous Vintage Emmanuelle Khanh Paris Black Sunglasses, 148 GBP
Makeup and Cosmetics | Shop Eyes Lips Face, $5
Black False Lashes, $6
Amazon.com: OPI Alice in Wonderland Collection Nail Polish, Off With..., $3.18
Bell BlackBerry Curve 8530 Smartphone - Black - 3 Year Agreement -..., $100
Vacation and Travel Scrapbooking Products (page 20)

Taking Time

2010-09-07T00:14:00.003+08:00

I’ve never had a break so long before. It’s been 2 months but I love it! I’ve always been so caught up in work and shoving the busy sign in people’s faces, and taking my health for granted for the past year. So during the holidays, I took the time alone to be at peace with myself, doing things I love like photography, travelling, making cards, having girly sleepovers and building relationships by catching up with all the people I missed (all these are so therapeutic!).

I ended up trying lots of new things like cooking ratatouille & baked potatoes, learning to start a fire in a barbeque pit, and karaoke-ing.

After doing all of the above, my skin became more clear from all the major break outs I was having at one point. I was happy on the inside and less whiny. I wore brighter smiles too.

In whatever I do, it’s about connecting hearts and souls. I didn’t just take time off for myself but also for me to be (not just physically around, but emotionally) with friends and family. Along the way, I met new people, and they became part of me too.

I hope that now that I’m going back to college and not only that, I’m starting this whole new journey once again in a different place full of unfamiliar faces, that I will find time to have some ‘love me’ space and connect with the people I care amongst my busyness. I don’t want my work to be an excuse to put myself last or to push people away.

To you who have been here by my side always, thank you :) I hope I did meet up with you and if we didn't let's hope we will- soon!

2010-09-03T23:49:00.001+08:00

You'll never find the right person, if you never let go of the wrong one.
- Anonymous

#2 What I Want To Wear Right Now

2010-09-03T23:06:00.000+08:00

Miss Vulnerable by andreakyl featuring a sequin handbag

Alice + Olivia Georgette draped mini dress
$370 - net-a-porter.com
Scoopneck dress »

Christian Louboutin Big lips shoe
475 GBP - brownsfashion.com
Lips shoes »

BCBGMaxAzria Two-Way Sequin Oversized Clutch at Zappos.com
$132 - zappos.com
Sequin handbag »

Lucky Brand Women's 161008BNGP Strap Brown Flower Watch
$150 - endless.com
Lucky brand watches »

BENA MOTH GOLD MIRRORED PERSPEX JEWELLERY
30 GBP - farfetch.com
Butterfly jewelry »

ASOS Double Finger Bonjour Ring
$14 - asos.com
Metals jewelry »

Black Eternal Kiss Cape
$135 - itsthenewblack.com.au
Cape shawl »

Chic Vintage Taupe Emmanuelle Khanh Oversized Sunglasses
98 GBP - love-worn.com
Oversized sunglasses »

Benefit Cosmetics Matterial Girl: Beauty
$24 - amazon.com

Dior Miss Dior Cherie 1 oz Eau de Parfum Spray
$59 - sephora.com

Wish Hope Dream, Wall Words and Decals by Trading Phrases
$20 - tradingphrases.com

Moving on

2010-09-03T20:20:00.006+08:00

So many reasons to look back. Too many memories to forget. So much pain. So much hurt. So much anger and unforgiveness. Wanting answers but none is given. Wishing none of this has happened.

Moving on now.

There are more good things to discover whats in front of me. To create unforgettable memories. So much joy. So much love. So much peace and comfort. Asking the right questions and knowing the answers. Realizing that whatever has happened has taught me, and made me who I am today, I believe, a more beautiful person, inside.

Thank You

2010-08-30T01:08:00.003+08:00

I really want to thank you for being here for me. I wouldn't want to hear it from anyone else but you.
You are what makes the worst days, the best.

Things I felt before

2010-08-29T00:40:00.002+08:00

I hope I'll never forget what it's like to fall in love again.

Constantly having that only one person on your mind and not being able to wipe that silly smile away. Finally you realized you've doodled his name all over your note pad with heart shapes and smileys for almost an hour.

You miss him even when you're talking to him on the phone. You miss him even more when you said bye a second ago.

You come up with excuses to meet up even if it's for 5 minutes - I need to pass you something, I'm bored, I'm home alone and I'm scared, I haven't eaten and I thought you could grab a bite with me.

Remembering the dates and details of every magical moment you had together. Not wanting to forget, you write it down.

Wishing you were there beside him when he fell sick.

Believing. Trusting. Loving. Understanding. Giving. Committing.

Feeling jealous ( a good kind) for him.

Holding hands and feeling safe.

Getting into the car with him and wishing the night would last and never end. When it does, you take forever to say goodbye. But a nice, big hug helps ;)

Being comfortable together. I'm in my old jammies, wearing my glasses with no make up and he loves it.

Cooking for him even when you can't do it so well. Watch him eat it. Watch him make a face. Watch him finish it without complain.

Blushing hard when he tells you how he truly feels about you and knowing deep inside he truly meant it.

Hearing his voice makes your day.

Thinking what did you ever do to deserve his love.

Believing this love you have for him will last forever and no one could ever take it away from you.

#1 What I Want To Wear Right Now

2010-08-26T17:29:00.004+08:00

#1 What I Want To Wear Right Now by andreakyl featuring marc jacobs shoes

Women's AE NY CIty Zip-Up Hoodie (Sage Green)
$35 - ae.com
Hoodie tops »

Splendid Color-block jersey tank
$52 - net-a-porter.com
Racerback tank tops »

Marc Jacobs Studded suede ballerina flats
$575 - net-a-porter.com
Marc jacobs shoes »

Alexander Wang Diego Studded Bucket Bag
805 GBP - brownsfashion.com
Alexander wang handbags »

Harajuku Lovers - Music Pointy Beads Stretch Bracelet (Pink) - Jewelry
$79 - zappos.com
Pink jewelry »

Discount Womens Dress Shoes | Buy Women's Gold Tone Women Peace Sign...
$5.99 - nowdiscountshoes.com
Goldtone jewelry »

Thinking of You gold plated bangle
35 GBP - houseoffraser.co.uk
Disney couture jewelry »

Betsey Johnson - Varsity Crush Heart Ring (Rose/Antique Gold) -...
$46 - zappos.com
Betsey johnson jewelry »

Juicy Couture - Heart Crown Studs (Gold) - Jewelry
$38 - zappos.com
Juicy couture earrings »

Siwy Camilla Shorts in White : Star Style
starstyleinc.com
White shorts »

A new start

2010-08-26T15:32:00.006+08:00

Yesterday, I was sure of what's in front of me.
Today, what's in front of me is, unsure.

I made a list of pro(s) and con(s) for the changes that are about to take place in my life real soon.
And I realized the con(s) were mainly excuses and pre-conceived ideas I've made up in head or made up by people I've listened to. And that the pro(s) weighed much heavier.

I feel so uneasy. I'm making notes in my head, I'm constantly babbling to my parents and letting my thoughts fly out of my mouth. I'm praying to God silently every night before I lay my head to sleep to guide me and give me more strength and patience.

All I want to do right now is to continue to have a little more hope and faith because I sense a brighter future.

Because today's uncertainty will bring more good than yesterday's. God's plan for me is always for the best.

My favourite smells

2010-08-23T18:43:00.007+08:00

The smell of fresh air before sunrise because it smells of freedom and you feel like flying.
The smell of warm baked cookies which smells like love and lots of hard work :)
The smell of clean laundry because dirty laundry stinks and clean laundry smells like flowers.
The smell of my own hair cause I think I smell nice.
The smell of victory. Oh, it's the best cause you deserve it.
The smell of fish curry, chicken curry, assam laksa, corn in cup, nasi lemak and satay makes my tummy really hungry.
The smell of clean toilets. WAHAHAHA. I have OCD for cleanliness.
The smell of fruity perfumes. I like to smell like FUN.
The smell of rain because it's refreshing.
The smell of durians. HEAVENLY.
The smell of babies. They smell good for no reason.

Hi there

2010-08-21T01:17:00.003+08:00

I'm Andrea.
I'm simple-minded but I have my own opinions. eg: I think you're a nice person.
I'm a girl who loves to eat a lot and worry about putting on weight, but food is just more important.
I'm trusting God everyday to guide me on how to live this challenging, roller coaster life.
I'm wanting to see the world with kind eyes.
I'm looking forward to bring smiles to everyone I meet.
I'm a pastor's kid but still just like you.
I'm in love with things that you can wear.
I'm learning everyday - small lessons, big lessons, painful lessons, but they are worthwhile cause I'm only gaining more.
I'm so hungry right now. hehe.
I'm praying hard this blog will always have my honest words and make me a better person as I reflect on my life.

This heart is fragile yet unbreakable

2010-02-26T15:09:00.003+08:00

You can only be strong for yourself. Can't expect people to be that arm for you to hold on to because that arm is going to get tired after awhile. When that person lets go of you, you fall. You fall, HARD. It hurts even more. The cuts are deeper, the scars hold on to you.
But don't stay on the ground too long or wait for someone to pick you up again. You wipe those tears and you pick yourself up.